What They Meant When They Said Repent

I walked into a store where the TV was playing a sports channel. For a second the sportscaster looked like Mel Gibson.














I dreamed of a future in which Mel Gibson was sentenced to spend the rest of his life as a sportscaster.

Thoughts on Walt Whitman, Pt. II

Walt Whitman Talked a Lot of Shit


This is the guy who wrote "I am a habitan of Vienna"; who wrote "I hear the cry of the Cossack, and the sailor's voice putting to sea at Okotsk" and "I see the giant pinnacles of Elbruz, Kazbek, Bazardjusi"; who wrote "Ethiopia Saluting the Colors." Dude never left the continent. The farthest he ever got from his hometown of Huntington, Long Island, was a trip to Canada in 1879. The rest of the time he stuck to New York, D.C., and Jersey.

Insult Your Fanbase

The point of this Arby's commercial is that eating Arby's makes you a sloppy fatso who never gets girls.

Thoughts on Walt Whitman, Pt. I

Walt Whitman Sold Out

The first edition of Leaves of Grass (1855) is also the sexiest, the boldest, the weirdest. Most people didn't like it. It did not bring WW the fame and popularity he longed for. Through successive editions and decades he tempered his barbaric yawp and his image and his "deviant" sexuality so that by the final version (1891-2) his status as the "Good Grey Poet" was secure and they put his face on cigar boxes.